Chainsaws and Daisies

We listen to the radio in the morning on our way to school. It can be a risky proposition and I have to pay attention, I can't zone out. Radio has come  a long way since I was a kid - not always for the better - and foul language is the least of my concerns.  My kids know what foul language is and they know they can't use it yet. They don't know what IEDs  are, however, nor the fact that the massive explosion in nearby San Bruno was preventable. They don't need to start their days with stories of genocide or kids being kidnapped. There's plenty of time for that later. It's not an easy thing to do, you know, to protect the childhood of another person while simultaneously equipping them to cope with the world. It's a tightrope juggling act with bowling balls, daisies and chainsaws.

I do like it, however, when the radio gives me an opportunity to teach my kids stuff and today's lesson was a good one: Bristol and Willow Palin were being mocked for fighting with a guy on Facebook who isn't a fan of the Palin clan's TV careers (Mom's on an Alaskan reality show and Bristol is on Dancing With the Stars). I'm not even going to touch that one, by they way, Bristol Palin + Dancing with the Stars = me never getting to the point.  In the course of their sisterly attack Willow wrote "Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are, But what I've seen pictures of, your disgusting. My sister had a kid and is still hot. Tre [guy's name] stfu. Your such a faggot."

Can you guess what today's lesson was about? I'll give you three tries:

1. No, it was not about bad punctuation, although those of you who know me best know this is usually the right answer. Not today.

2. No, it was not about homophobia. We don't have homophobia in our house and our kids totally don't understand it. And they don't need to. They'll come across it in real life eventually and automatically look down in disgust on the homophobes. Which is fine by me.

3. The power of cut and paste? DING DING DING we have a winner! Today's lesson was all about how if you don't want to read about it later, don't put it in writing now. Not on Facebook, not on Google Buzz, Not on Yahoo Buzz, not in IM chat. Because as long as it's on a computer, anyone can cut and paste and send it to anyone and everyone everywhere. Or even better: they can post it. Phone's aren't safe either. If the chat is on your phone you can forward it. And if you can forward it so can someone else. And guess what? They already are.

How much longer until they start altering the "record"?

These savvy 12 year-olds are already gossiping behind each other's backs, cutting and pasting IM threads into other IM threads and "sharing" so everyone can know exactly how foolish, love-sick, mean, ridiculous and pointless they (we) are. Oh, and what truly horrific spellers too. U no wat I mene?

So my pop quiz to my girl, as she's getting ready to hop out of the car was this: "How do we deal with conversations that matter?"

"Orally."

"Yes! I love you honey, have a great day at school!" (yes, I say that to both of them every morning. And I mean it. And not just in the thank-god-they-will-be-out-of-the-house-all-day kind of way.)

"luv u 2, mama" How is it that she can actually speak in text language?

Cue: her half-hearted wave, back turning hair flip with simultaneous eye rolling - earning her a 9.0 from the Russian judge.

 

Comments

[SteveB]

I have a few friends that are internet-phobic. They always ask: aren't you afraid that THEY will get what you post about? (I'm not sure who THEY are, but we assume that they are up to no good).

I tell them that I'm not worried because anything I post is fine with me if the whole world reads it and anything I don't want out there... guess what? I don't put it out there!

[kc]

My kids sometimes say "don't blog that" when an event feels too embarrassing or personal and they suspect I will want to write about it. When they say that, I respect their wishes and don't post about whatever the "that" is.

The thing is, I don't talk any differently here than I do in real life, which means they wouldn't be the least bit surprised by my "thank goodness they're at school" comment, and neither would they take it the wrong way. (Well, Juliette might take it the wrong way, but she has no idea yet how to find my blog and I expect her already robust 7-year old sense of humor to be fully developed by the time she finds it.)

[Kzinti]

My kids already read my blog and understand why I put stuff out there. It's the Missus who has the hard time with it. *scratches head* Go figure...

[Lakshmi]

Ah..I have such a love-hate relationship with the internet. Sometimes (esp. when I read about the fb incident you described) I just want to shut down the whole internet and go to sleep. But then, writing such as yours make me want to come back anyway.

[Lakshmi]

I wasn't sure how to send you a private message and hence this comment. The comment is unrelated to the post.
I thought you'd find this story interesting:
http://www.williamgtapply.com/article.html

[Crimsonmuse]

I never gave things of this nature much thought until my friends starting talking about the issues they've been dealing with their kids and the online world. While things weren't anywhere near as instant as they are now when I joined the online world as a teen, I had this assumption that kids would be using it with the same sort of sense I knew most kids used it back then. But...having had to have discussions and talks with young members of my family and listening to the distress of friends who are parents...it's a far different world in a only a matter of years. Weren't they asking me for Barbie's and Hot Wheels?

I like the talk(s) you had with your daughters. This have given me something to discuss with my friends who are worried/stressed parents as they navigate these uncharted territories. While I am not a parent...I can appreciate how long it took for rumors to spreads when I was in high school...word of mouth and note passing took a lot longer than txting and sharing photos on a cell phone.

[Nicholas Miele]

While I agree everyone should protect themselves there are some out there who utilize a blog to express themselves "honestly," i.e. they speak openly about themselves, their experiences, emotions, etc. So where do you suppose they fit in?

[karen c.]

Nicholas, I try to be one of those people and I think they/we fit in just fine anywhere, as long as we understand and accept the possible ramifications of a public life.

At 12 years old I don't think my daughter is experienced enough or tough enough to be ready to have her words twisted publically in front of her and her friends. And yet I know that's what's going to happen because it's happened to all of us, even before the internet. the difference is that instead of a he-said she-said verbal scenario you're dealing with transcripts, both real and contrived.

it's tough enough for adults to deal with that kind of reality, i don't want my kids to learn that lesson by accident.