I hate them, these people who resolve to "get fit" every January. They proclaim, usually after a hearty new year's dinner, "This year, I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to join a gym and actually go. I'm going to stop drinking, and eating so many KitKats. I'm going to eat vegetables - green ones - and run on the treadmill Every Day."
For one month.
That month, as we all know, is January and it's the one month when I want to work out, but I have to drag myself in because I hate going to the gym. All of those newbies climbing over the equipment, like ants. Wearing leotards and headbands and neon-colored hoodies.
I know, I'm being ungenerous (and maybe even a tad mean). I should support these good people in their quest to live a more healthy lifestyle, right? And I might except that it's 99% bullshit. Bullshit that takes over the locker room with piles of wet towels (look! they're free!). Bullshit that ignores the protocol of the sauna (don't look at me and definitely don't talk to me). Bullshit that doesn't know how to use the machines but won't ask for help so they just stand on them, reading or watching television (the cooking channel).
Fitness industry statistics show that for every 10 who inquire at a gym, 2 to 4 people will enroll. Of these, only 1 or 2 will actually use their memberships. Of these, I'm going to bet, less than .5 will still be going by April.
For the record, I've given up making resolutions. While talking about them can be entertaining at parties, I never take them seriously, yet I can't shake that sense of failure when I finally admit I'm not going to achieve them. I quit smoking over a summer 20 years ago. I joined a gym four years ago in September. I don't need a month to tell me what to do. I just need the will do actually do it.
January is a long month with little to offer or do, and as such it might be good for introspection. But it's not good, at least for me, for proclaiming vows and "starting fresh." January may be a lot of things, but the one thing it's not is fresh. Fresh is April. That's why Downey put it on the bottle.
I'd say that this would be a good month to start running so I could get away from the crowd. But I hate to run, and I wouldn't keep it up. And that would make me a Resolutionist.