I hate them, these people who resolve to "get fit" every January. They proclaim, usually after a hearty new year's dinner, "This year, I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to join a gym and actually go. I'm going to stop drinking, and eating so many KitKats. I'm going to eat vegetables - green ones - and run on the treadmill Every Day."
For one month.
That month, as we all know, is January and it's the one month when I want to work out, but I have to drag myself in because I hate going to the gym. All of those newbies climbing over the equipment, like ants. Wearing leotards and headbands and neon-colored hoodies.
I know, I'm being ungenerous (and maybe even a tad mean). I should support these good people in their quest to live a more healthy lifestyle, right? And I might except that it's 99% bullshit. Bullshit that takes over the locker room with piles of wet towels (look! they're free!). Bullshit that ignores the protocol of the sauna (don't look at me and definitely don't talk to me). Bullshit that doesn't know how to use the machines but won't ask for help so they just stand on them, reading or watching television (the cooking channel).
Fitness industry statistics show that for every 10 who inquire at a gym, 2 to 4 people will enroll. Of these, only 1 or 2 will actually use their memberships. Of these, I'm going to bet, less than .5 will still be going by April.
For the record, I've given up making resolutions. While talking about them can be entertaining at parties, I never take them seriously, yet I can't shake that sense of failure when I finally admit I'm not going to achieve them. I quit smoking over a summer 20 years ago. I joined a gym four years ago in September. I don't need a month to tell me what to do. I just need the will do actually do it.
January is a long month with little to offer or do, and as such it might be good for introspection. But it's not good, at least for me, for proclaiming vows and "starting fresh." January may be a lot of things, but the one thing it's not is fresh. Fresh is April. That's why Downey put it on the bottle.
I'd say that this would be a good month to start running so I could get away from the crowd. But I hate to run, and I wouldn't keep it up. And that would make me a Resolutionist.
Oh! I so agree. I've just started going to the gym again, and it has nothing to do with the time of year, it's got more to do with feeling settled and less stressed at my new job, ergo more energy.
From this next week I'm setting my alarm and going in at five am when the gym opens. Because no resolutionist seems to manage that, but they do seem to manage to swarm right up to closing time. Booooo!
Posted by: Little Odd Me | 01/02/2010 at 03:36 PM
[this is good] LOL...And happy new year to you and the family.
Posted by: Lakshmi | 01/02/2010 at 07:07 PM
Thank you, sister. I've said this for years. ::enter rant::"Resolution," my arse. Make goals, working towards them. If you need to wait til a Monday to start something or if you need to wait til 1 Jan, you will never, ever do it.STFU.I fail all the time; I don't need a Monday or the first of the year to do. I succeed all the time, too. Limiting yourself is an excuse.This is different from people who use the end of a year, decade, week what-have-you for introspection and drawing up grand lists that they do a pretty damned good job of ticking off -- if you're one of those people, then you know exactly what Karen is talking about (even if it doesn't pertain to the gym).It's for people who don't care to set actual goals and do the work beyond 2 days to 2 weeks. I'm a bitch and I'm right. Lie to everyone else but lying to yourself? Beyond sad.
Posted by: mad-tante | 01/03/2010 at 03:11 AM
So start running, and keep up with it until February when the Resolutionists burn themselves out. Think of it as a compromise rather than a resolution. If you do it with an end date in sight, then it's not quitting or giving up when you stop. You're just cross-training.
Posted by: Patti | 01/05/2010 at 07:05 PM
Oh my god. I just got back from the gym, and oh my god. I know you warned me, but I didn't expect 24 Hour Fitness to be mobbed at 10:30 on a Wednesday night. I managed to get a treadmill, but that's only because I spent an extra five minutes stretching while I waited for someone to stumble off.This is downtown Oakland, and our notion of nouveau gym fashion is a little bit different than leotards and headbands, but other than that your description was spot on. I saw several guys just sitting on the equipment looking around. One was using a rowing machine, but at a setting where I was sure I could have done his workout using only my pinkies. Guys were grunting and yelling as they lifted, because if they saw it on TV it must be the right way to do it.I'm not sure which was funnier, the guys using way too much weight or the ones using way too little.How long until it returns to normal? Two weeks? Three?
Posted by: Patti | 01/07/2010 at 12:45 AM
I'm so sorry, I would have bet that 10:30pm would be pretty safe on any day of the week.
Expect about half of them to drop off in February, the rest in March. As soon as the weather gets nicer, they'll forget all about the gym.
Posted by: karen | 01/07/2010 at 09:32 AM
I have never understood the resolution thing. It is another day on the wheel. Not a beginning, not an end. Make the best of your day, your life, your future, every single day of your life. They are sheep...it is sad really. But I do hope theyare out of our way soon.
Posted by: Kapolnek Family | 01/07/2010 at 07:55 PM
For what it's worth, I couldn't identify a single obvious Resoluationist at the gym last night. Yay!
Posted by: Patti | 02/08/2010 at 10:18 AM
There are less of them at my gym too. The "I'll exersize before I go to work" crowd has really thinned out but the "I have nothing else to do at 10am" crowd is still bigger than normal. Maybe they'll actually stick with it...
The other day Xav and I had a good laugh at two guys sitting side by side on recumbent bicycles. One had a paper. The other was watching TV. Neither was pedaling.
Posted by: karen | 02/09/2010 at 11:58 AM
About two weeks ago I saw a couple come in, spend less than five minutes on an elliptical, and then leave.They did it again a few days later.
Posted by: Patti | 02/09/2010 at 02:10 PM
You think they told each other "wow, working out is so hard! I'm really tired!"
They'd be better off saving their money and walking a couple of blocks around the house.
Posted by: karen | 02/11/2010 at 10:05 PM
I saw a new Resolutionist trick tonight. I caught not one, not two, but three different people lifting then flexing and checking themselves out in the mirror.Maybe this is what they do after six weeks? And when they don't look like Ahnold, they get disgusted and quit?
Posted by: Patti | 02/12/2010 at 12:38 AM