Notes from the Amazon Warrior

He's unhappy with Spot. He likes the fact that I know where he is, but he has a pocket full of notes for the engineers (who are waiting for the feedback with bated breath, I'm sure). His first question, why does it take 20 minutes to send a signal every time? I started to mumble some answer about satellites being in space and space being far away but he was not impressed. List of complaints or not, I still like Spot.

Today on the river, our heroes were harassed by cayman who decided - in a seemingly organized manner - that it would be easier to steal fish from fly fishermen than to actually hunt for themselves. The crocs surrounded the boat and eventually the guys (Xav, his friend Tyler and the guide) had to hit the cayman (caymen?) with logs to get them to back away from the boat. Despite all of those hours at the gym, the beatings were only marginally successful - the crocs backed off a little, then came back. Eventually it was the fishermen who left. 

Later, Xav caught another cayman on his fly - actually Xav cast the fly, the fish ate the fly and the cayman ate the fish and, sing it with me now: "I don't know why, she swallowed that fly, perhaps she'll die..." That's right, I'm the mother of a pre-schooler and that's my musical reference for the day.

Xav loves to fish for crocodiles even though (perhaps because) I've told him that catching them is grounds for divorce. I am afraid of them and he is amused by them. Did I ever tell you the story of how Xav nearly landed one in a boat in Mexico? There was only one problem: the croc was as big as our freaking boat. I was not amused. But I'm not there to scowl at him (not that it matters) and he kept this croc on his line for a good long while before it actually broke off the line and sunk to the bottom of the river. He was quite pleased with himself.

He also caught a dogfish, a type of shark who spit the fly out of his mouth in the air over the boat. This resulted in the fish landing in the boat and flopping around the bottom until finally he hit something nice and soft. Which he promptly bit. It was Xav's big toe. Xav said it bled like crazy but not to worry because he "put neosporin on it." Oh thank goodness. (And yes, this is what it's really like to live with him.)

Finally, to cap off the day he caught a red-belly piranha and somehow managed to throw it at Tyler "Catch!"
He didn't.

Sounds like buckets of fun, don't you wish you were there?

Comments

[Papi Chulo]

You know, it's not normal for a wife's list of complaints about her husband to include, "keeps trying to land crocodiles on the boat". I'm just sayin'.

[Deborah]

awesome post... in fact ALL of your posts of late have been awesome!

[Nacwolin]

Oh my word! Maybe your hubby can be the next Survivorman....? :-)

[karen]

don't forget "and buys blow darts for the kids" the lawyer will love that one.

[karen]

aw thanks, honey. so glad i'm able to amuse someone other than myself...

[karen]

He would absolutely love that. This is one of his favorite shows of course, but he always makes fun of the guy because he's always starving. Xav, at least, would be able to feed us. Did I ever tell you about the time we were camping and he made a rack of lamb over the campfire? It was yummy - and hysterical too since the people at the next campsite were literally eating beans from a can.
Not that there is anything wrong with beans from a can...;-)

[Deborah]

When I first started camping with my ex he did all the cooking on his little camp-lite stove and a tiny pan. His idea of a hearty meal was to boil water in the tiny pan, add minute rice - wait 5 min - then dump in a can of tuna. I think he even left the oil in so it would be heartier. I took over the camp cooking after that.Though I have to say - after a long day of hiking - that tuna and rice was delicious. And the thought of it makes me want to go camping again.