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07/17/2007

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The K Spot

[this is good] Incredibly well written and so right.

foxsydee

[this is good] well written! thanks for sharing this....I often feel the same way. I grew up in an affectionate family and am an affectionate adult...but there are so many "boundaries" you have to be sure about with adults and children.
I often find that some children just sense that I am affectionate as I have children walk up to me and put their arms around me or hold my hand ouf of the blue. I had this happen the other week when we were hiking and ended up helping a mother who was out in the park with her 3 young children. When I sat down for a break, 2 of her 3 small kids were like magnets rightto me! She was ok with it as we had been walking/hiking with them for a while...but I know what you mean about being nervous about something that is so natural.

Patty

This is simply beautiful. And it makes me just want to hug you -- appropriately of course. :-D

Patty

[this is good] You've off course, seen this, right?

karen

Patty, thank you!I have seen this but I'm glad you linked to it because I think goes very nicely with that post. Here's some love for you. xoxo
K Spot, thanks girl, high praise from you indeed.
Foxydee, I have always said that children and dogs know best. Show me the person who attracts them, and I'll show you the best person in the room.

Kimberly

[] So true! I remember a friend in high school who thought it was odd that my dad hugged and kissed my little brother, who was around seven at the time. But he seemed a little envious when he said it... his family never touched each other. Even now, I link arms with my siblings when we're walking down the street, hug my dad as often as I can, and throw an arm around my mom to say "you're mine -- aren't I lucky!"

MelPate

Luckily, I'm a part of a very touchy feely huggy family and I LOVE it. Seeing someone, you get a hug...leaving someone, you get a hug. We kiss...it's just us. And I'm instilling that in my daughter, she's also a very cuddly person. I worry about preditors, but you are so right, EVERYONE needs hugs! Very well written, thank you!

jenjen

growing up, my parents were not touchy-feely. however, my sister and i are completely opposite. since we're 18 yrs apart (yes we have the same mom and dad -- lil sis just came 15 yrs behind schedule :P), i made it a point to be affectionate and loving with her -- the opposite of how my parents were with me. so even though she is on the verge of those horrid teenager years, the first thing we do when we see each other is hug each other and tell each other we love the other. keep hugging and cuddling your children...even when they get older.....it'll mean more toall of youlater than you or they will realize :)

Deborah

[this is good] wonderful!We are big on hugs here. Ben hugs people he just meets. My kids still need "touch" time. Cas and I snuggled in the hammock last sunday for a bit. Aaron and I walk with our arms around each other. Touch is so important. I think we all crave it. The warmth of another's skin against our own is so nurturing. And when its one of your children snuggled up to you - its magic.Enjoy your little girls. They are precious. Both of them!

Nancy

[this is good] I think this is true of adults as well. So many people are afraid of basic kindness being misinterpreted. As you say, people do need a certain amount of personal space but I wish adults in our society could be more comfortable with each other as well as children.

Mark

Bigfoot! At one time I was spending a lot of time around 7 year old twin boys, and each one would sit on a foot and I would go walking around being BIGFOOT! Insane laughter. Everyone should get to hear kids' insane laughter. I saw a guy teaching his boy to ride a bike today - I got to do that too! Hah! Take THAT, universe!

Ninja Chick

[this is good] This is beautiful, Karen, really beautiful.
Your piece had me walking around with a tear in my eye, but the hugest smile on my face. There is beauty in being touched and being loved unconditionally.
When working my shifts and reading case files in the mental health facilities where I've worked or the groups which I co-facilitated...a missing piece that clients touched on was a lack of touch in their families and an overall feeling of neglect and no self-worth.
I say...hugs all around, feeling loved, and being whole.

karen

Kimberly and MelPate, your comments arrived within minutes of each other, both talk about your wonderfully touchy families and you are both self-aware enough to call yourselves lucky. You are very fortunate indeed.
jenjen, i'm so glad you and your sister are so close, with such a big age difference I could easily see it going the other way.You get the credit for thatsince your sister had no choice but to follow, and blossom, under your excellent leadership.
Deb, I love that you and Ben are so touchy feely.Even when Ihardly knew either of you, hugging felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Nancy, I was talking to my sister this morning about this, and she told me about a woman she worked with who told her she was so lonely, she hadn't been hugged in six years. And so of course my sister hugged her. I cannot imagine a week, much less six years without someone's arms around me.
Mark, I bet you give great foot rides - akin to a human amusement park ride!
Ninja Chick, as Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." Yep. I quoted Dolly Parton at you. ;-)

navelgazer

I love witnessing moms like you who are so getting it right-- my sister's like that. I see her raising these incredibly grounded people who really know deep down in the core of them, to their toes, that they are love. what could possibly be more important in this world? it's no wonder at all that cassandre and juju are such bright, beautiful girls.

Grumpy Geek

Great post. Growing up, I used to be very affectionate and "huggy," but somehow became less so as an adult. Now when I'm with other people, even my 3-year-old niece and nephew, I find myself very conscious of boundaries -- personal space, what's right and what might be construed (or misconstrued) as inappropriate -- that I tend to come across as somewhat reserved when the reality is that's just the opposite of what I want to be.

Barry

[this is good] My wife is a "hugger". I have learned to go along, "for her sake." Mind you I'm not against it - hugging, that is -I'm just usually lookingfor acomfy chair and the next beer. And I'm never sure of the "right" time (I was lousy at reading when it was alright to kiss a girl too). So I usually err on the side of caution. Exceptwith kids. Nothing beats ahug from a kid. Especially the little ones.
Great post Karen.

Rae

[this is good]

Mark

this is one of the reason we love dogs, too. It's always OK to hug them. And most cats will put with this for at least a few seconds.

Tired Working Mom

This is so well written and I feel much the same way. It is sad how much society has changed this for all of us.

RPM

[this is good] *sighs* This was beautiful, Karen. Stirs up so much. I think you took me through all the emotions. Thank you.

Janette

[this is good] This is a beautiful post, and so true. It's easy to be physically affectionate when children are young (after all, in the beginning they can't move on their own), but as they get older we don't cuddle with them as much for some reason. So, in short, more hugs all around!

Ross

[this is good] Excellent post - I couldn't agree more.I have some friends who are teachers for elementary and middle school students. They say they always ask whether a kid would like a hug, just to be safe. I'm sure they get some that turn them down, but I'm so happy that they're out there still trying when it looks like someone could use one. I hope they never stop asking.

secret heart

[this is good] what a beautiful story! makes me want to go hug someone!

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