Well that was fun (not so much)

Last week I had the BMW serviced. At 60K miles, it's a big service. The we're-going-to-need-to-keep-the-car-overnight service. The-we're-going-to-have-the-doctor-perform-a-cavity-search-to-look-for-other-problems (and find them) service. You should be getting the impression that it cost a lot of money. It did.

For brevity's sake I'm going to skip the part where the receptionist argues with me about my non-discounted bill.

The day after I picked up the car my coolant light went on. This is not good. Big service. Replaced hoses. Replaced fluids. Replaced brakes. Car should be perfect now, right?

Yeah.

So I call and say "WTF?" They say, oh, how strange. Please come in today. Here is a loaner car. Be happy. We love you. This time we really will give you a discount.

Get the car back the next day (Thursday night). Friday the coolant light goes on again. I know there is coolant in there. I remember them saying, oh it was just an air bubble, no big deal but it upset the sensor. I assume the same thing is happening and that the car is safe to drive. Idiot.

Saturday, I load up three girls (one is a loaner) and my dog and drive to Colusa. Right before we arrive my "check brake lights" light goes on. I just replaced those brakes. Grrr.

Sunday we drive home. Everything is fine until we get to the Bay Bridge. There is a queue and we are in it. I see steam beginning to rise from my engine. Oh god. I'm going to be that person. The one who totally screws up bridge traffic with her car problems. I watch as the temperature gage starts to shift to the right (wrong direction). By the time we get to the toll booth we are in full-blown trouble. I tell the toll-taker, who is wearing rubber gloves and a surgeon's mask by the way, that I have to pull over now. Where do I go? She says, somewhat unhelpfully "there are two medians, one on the left and one on the right." This felt about as helpful as the Caterpillar's "one side will make you grow taller and the other side will make you grow shorter." I go left.

To nothing.

All I can see are a thousand of lanes of cars flying towards the Bay Bridge of Doom. Finally, I stop at the last possible place - the gravel area in between what feels like 20 lanes of traffic.

For the first time I am happy to see the CHP officer who tells me that someone from CalTrans will come and help me for free. Please stay in the car with our seat belts on (in case someone accidentally flies into us). The girls are full of questions. What is happening? Are we in danger? Who is CalTrans? The dog is shaking like a leaf. I don't know why but he keeps trying to crawl into my lap. I explain about how car engines are hot and need to be made cool. I stroke the dog's ear and insist he stay on his side of the car.

CalTrans arrives in the big orange truck. There is much rejoicing.

I swear to you that the CalTrans guy was once an extra on the Sopranos. 55 years old. Wife-beater t-shirt under the orange jumpsuit. Lots and lots of visible chest hair. White helmet that he places carefully on his head as I watch. Big gold chain with gold amulets on it. If he falls into the Bay it will surely drag him under. This is my savior.

He pours water into my radiator for minutes and says "this should be enough to get you home." I am hopeful that it will.

Of course it is not.

Over the bridge and through the woods to grandmother's house -- straight into downtown traffic. 101 is completely stopped and I know that I am done for. There is no way we will survive stop-and-go traffic. I get off at 5th street to cut across to 280. At the 5th street traffic light we get the big steam dump from the hood. There is no way this car is getting us home. Expletive deleted here.

I pull over on 6th and Bryant. Not a great neighborhood on a deserted Sunday evening, but it could be worse. Water is pouring out from under the car. I have a leak. I call AAA. The woman on the phone is named Karen. "Hi Karen, this is Karen. I'm stranded with three kids and a dog, please send help." She does.

I call Fred, father of the loaner child and very good friend (who, from now on will be known to all as "Saint Fred The Goodness"). He is on his way to rescue us. In the car, the girls write messages seeking help on the steamy back window. When the steam is gone that is going to be one giant smear. But they are being so cool and calm about the whole thing that I can't complain. Juju gives me a big smile and pets me. "Little girls don't do this," she says. "Big girls do this." She says this about everything. Yes, sweetie pie, you are big girl.

The AAA guy shows up before Saint Fred the Goodness does. His name is Paul and he is very nice. He is worried that he cannot fit us, and all our stuff, into his truck. Especially because he has just purchased the cutest giant singing Santa Claus for $9 and it is taking up most of the front seat. There is no back seat. I explain to him that my friend is coming and I would really appreciate it if he did not leave me alone on the street with three kids and a dog. He agrees that this would not be good and begins the world's longest hitching process. I love you Paul.

I call BMW. They start to say things like "we close at 6pm so you should make sure the tow truck is here before the gate is closed" which is entirely the wrong approach. In front of the children I have to use nice language, like you guys have totally messed this up and this is the second time today that I've been stranded. I would really appreciate it if someone could hang around a little while for the tow truck to arrive. My words are nice but my tone is not. They get the picture.  Another Paul, this time the BMW sales manager, agrees to stay late. He has no idea what a good idea that was. Well maybe he has some idea.

Saint Fred The Goodness arrives and we make the transfer to his van. He drives us home and helps me unload our stuff. 

Alone, I crack open a nice bottle of red wine for a much-needed glass. We will be eating pizza tonight.

Tomorrow I will have to kick the shit out of BMW. Of course, the real Peter Pan would not have screwed things up so royaly. Or at least not past the point where Tinkerbell couldn't save him. (Cue J.M. Barrie, turning in grave.)

It's almost time to put the kids to bed  - and me too. That's enough excitement for one day.

Comments

[Laurel]

Wow, that's impressively sucky. Sounds like Peter Pan (the BMW version)deserves to have the shit kicked out of them tomorrow. Oh, do you think you'll still be able to make lunch?

[country_cinderella]

Wow that was not a nice day. I hope they do get it right this time.

[vander]

Ouch! Sorry to hear about that. I thought falling into the mud puddle face first this weekend was tragic, I was wrong. You've got me hands down. Glad to hear everyone is safe though.

[Patty]

Oh goodness...or suckiness as the case may be. I was wondering what the mobile pictures were about, but I saw them too late to call you to see if I could help out somehow. :-(
If we need to reschedule lunch tomorrow to later in the week, I am so so fine with that.

[wallflower_writer]

Gwaaah...that service center of yours takes the cake for customer un-care, doesn't it? I used to own a Fiat - sweet little bitty-bit car that was all I could ask for from a car - but when it needed to have a part replaced? iSusmariosep/i!!!! (trans=Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! in Tagalog) Those folks were responsible for many, many invocations to the saints and angels, let me tell you.Am glad to hear that you all made it through the whole ordeal safely!

[karen]

Lunch is still on.

[Papi Chulo]

Oh man! Glad to hear you made it through this in one piece!

[Ray]

Take it from a dealership mechanic, {Not Peter Pan BMW} that is wrong. Ask to speak to the Service Manager immediately {they hate that} and go ballistic on his ass!

[Bookmole]

German cars are good, but dealerships are not. Go kick ass, Karen - they totally deserve it! Sorry you had such a bad experience.

[ConservWarrior]

Arrrghh...I do hope you kick his ass to Never Never Land! LOL

[Red Pen]

BMW dealerships apparently do not subscribe to a customer-centric service ethic. Read 'em the riot act! Sorry you had such a horrible day.

[Patty]

see your PMs (and Deborah's Vox)...lunch is post-poned until the unfortunate mojo in the air disappears....

[Cathy]

Once you lose trust in the wheels, it's all over. Acuras are nice...

[karen]

Falling face first into a muddle puddle doesn't sound like much fun to me. However if I was there, and you were not injured, I think I might laugh my ass off. ;-)

[karen]

The manager, Daren,called me this morning and was very polite. I could tell that he was trying to get me off the phone before I could vent, but there was no chance of that.
When he was done talking I got to say things like "three kids and a dog in the median of the Bay Bridge" and "stranded in a shitty part of San Francisco" (which is a slight exaggeration, I mean we weren't exactly at Hunter's Point) and "your incompetence put my family in danger twice yesterday!" This is true.
I ended with "to say that I am unhappy with your service doesn't even begin to cover how distressed I am about this."
I'm sure he's looking forward to calling me back at noon.

[karen]

Cathy, of course you are right. But I think you know how much I love this car. My first really nice car. Paid it off in two years. Black on black with tinted windows. Press the gas and fly. Takes curves so beautifully. The thing that keeps me from going insane on my crummy 101 commute.
And it's a 2001 - the last year of the good body. Now the 7-series looks like a giant box. There is no way I would buy it. And you know what? Except for theMini which is cute, cute cute (and the M5 which gives you 100 extra horses at the push of a button) there isn't anything else I want. And I can't really fit Gringo and the girls into a Mini.

[Schomer]

My feeling is that it is never a coincidence when you take your car in for service and the next day you run into an issue.I just did a quick search for dealer ratings, and it looks like this Peter Pan place is not highly rated. Maybe it's time to look for a better one - after they fix these issues for you, of course.It's too bad they are not customer focused at your shop. I couldn't say more about the BMW and Lexus dealers here (same company owns both). They are top-notch when it comes to service. My wife loves them so much that she doesn't want to shop anywhere else for cars.

[Kapolnek Family]

Oh man, that sounds awful! I am so sorry! What a nightmare. I hope they make things right. They should refund you the cost of the original work. Anyway, glad you were able to get everyone home safely (and glad you had a good glass of wine waiting!) Hope it gets fixed soon!

[Naughton]

That air bubble you say that the dealer mentioned is not a minor
problem; it's a serious f up. Cooling systems are designed to be
full of liquid coolant under pressure. When an air bubble is
introduced into a cooling system, it screws up the cycling of the
coolant through the engine and radiator and creates an opportunity for
some coolant to expand, overheat, and boil. This sounds
like what was happening to you. In SF your car probably wasn't
leaking coolant, it was boiling it out like a kettle

The real risk of the overheating you described (aside from breaking
down on the Bay Bridge) is that if the car gets hot enough the engine
block and the engine heads expand and contract at different rates or
warp and the gasket between them fails. It's called a blown head
gasket and is a "sell the car" problem. When a modern car with an
aluminum engine and tons of electronics starts overheating, every
minute of additional driving is Russian roullette.

I recommend taking the car to an independent BMW specialist to assess
the overheating cause and consequent damage. If you have a blown
head gasket, demand that the dealer give you full cash value for the
car.

Good luck,

[Sooz]

Any updates from Daren?

[Kaivalya]

What I enjoyed most about that story is all the instances of people coming to your aid. You're blessed with great friends (and speedy auto-service people!).

[Nancy]

I had a series of problems with my Audi and I always tell those AAA tow truck guys what heroes they are. When you are sitting on the side of the road at night in the rain and they show up and are always polite - they are nothing short of modern-day knights in shining armor.

[Cams]

That's quite a story. The trouble I have is that I live in a non English speaking country so going to the garage for a service pretty much involves me dropping it off and then paying the invoice no questions asked. It's the opposite of empowering (unempowering?)Glad you got through it okay and hope you get it resolved.

[Anil]

He has no idea what a good idea that was. Well maybe he has some idea.I would have been writing the blog post in my head already. :)

[karen]

Very helpful Mikey, thanks so much.