serendipity

My public profile vs. my need for privacy

Over the weekend I received two e-mails from strangers asking me to invite them to Vox. I had mixed feelings about the solicitations - I was happy that they wanted into Vox, and creeped out that they had contacted me personally to do it. I was unsure about what to do next, what the protocol might be. So I asked my friend, Mr. Etiquette, for some advice. His sage words: if you don't want to invite them you can either ignore them or send them a message declining the request. Believe it or not, it was good to hear that, that I could say no and not feel like a jerk about it. (Thank you Mr. Etiquette.) I sent them each a note saying that I didn't invite strangers, best of luck. etc.

 

My problem with contact from the strangers was two-fold: first, I didn't particularly mind the idea of inviting them until I realized that they would then be in my network. That sealed the deal for me. I don't want complete and total strangers in my network.

 

Secondly, I had a problem that my e-mail address was so accessible. I have made it a point to limit my personal information in real life. I don't print my phone number in the phone book, I don't let anyone other than the bank have my kid's social security numbers and I have a number of e-mail addresses for different purposes. I have one special, relatively spam-free (knock on wood) e-mail address that I use for friends and business associates. I only give it out when I want someone to have it. It's the same as my cell phone - I don't print the number anywhere, if you have that number it's because I want you to have it.

 

I use a different e-mail for shopping and another one for newsletters, strangers, etc. Being contacted at my personal address by strangers unsettled me, and it reminded me that my profile is public and can be seen by anyone. That was one thing in Comet, it is something else in Vox. I immediately changed my e-mail address. I am thinking about hiding it in my profile altogether, but then people might contact me by IM, which I also do not do with strangers, so then I would have to get rid of those too...yes, yes, I have privacy issues. ;-) The thing is, I want my Vox friends to be able to find me. And I want to hide from strangers. Is that wrong?

 

This internal dilemma sparked an idea: I would love it if there were two versions of my profile: a public version that anyone can see, and that I can control the elements of (like hiding my e-mail address) and a private version visible to friends & family only. This would allow me to be more open with the people I know, and more protective of what I show to strangers.

 

Would other people be interested in this profile option?

 

Vox team, would you consider making this option available?

This author, wow...

It would be very hard for me to pin anything down to just one book, but I can credit an author: Ursula K. LeGuin. I discovered her when I was 12 or so, with a book called "Very Far Away from Anywhere Else." In hindsight it is not a very great book. But as I got older and got into science fiction (and fantasy) I discovered books like "The Lathe of Heaven" and "The Left Side of Darkness" along with the famous "Earth Sea" series.

Ursula is a master of language and her books are not always that easy to follow - not always good for the beach. But she opened my eyes to some fundamental concepts that I hadn't learned yet:
1. context is everything and moreover it is very hard to think outside of your own context
2. People will do very bad things in the name of God and righteousness
3. Even when your goal is a good one, sometimes the pursuit of it can lead to ruin

Of course these concepts are easily understood now (well, at least more easily anyway). But in my teens they were brand new to my self-absorbed why can't we all just get along self.

Ursula introduced me to politics, which I had very little interest in and frankly didn't understand how it could impact my life - my government when I was young seemed so irrelevant and removed from me. She helped me to explore religion, a topic I have long struggled with. She made it possible for me to move on to other literate science fiction, like Frank Herbert's Dune and Pandora series and William Gibson.

She also spoiled the genre for me. Up to that point I used science fiction as a way to escape and my standards for what was entertaining were pretty low. After seeing how Ursula put her sentences together, I couldn't read the trash stuff anymore.

Chair-eating wisteria

Think it's time to prune?

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Number one with a bullet

Day I was born: She Loves You - The Beatles.

I love The Beatles! This is not my favorite Beatles song, but it is a happy one that everyone can sing.

"She Loves You" has its own entry in Wikipedia, and among other things it says "The song was also the first time Lennon's name had taken precedence over McCartney in the credits" (Since John, of course, was the better Beatle).

For my 21st (AKA the year I was married): One More Night - Phil Collins

I am a huge Genesis fan and while Peter is my hero, Phil is no slouch. His solo stuff can be a little hit or miss and this song is not one of his best. I prefer "in the Air" or "Take me home." Which reminds me of a side story: when I was in France getting married I was getting so tired of listening and talking in French all the time. My head buzzed to the point where I could literally look at someone who was talking to me and not understand a word of what they were saying. I would periodically excuse myself to "take a nap - jet lag" and then put my Walkman on full-blast. "Take me Home" was one of the songs I would blast. Even though I didn't really want to go home, I did miss my language a lot.

Even though "One More Night" is pretty sappy, it feels appropriate for a girl who was about to get married.
"Like a river to the sea
I will always be with you
And if you sail away
I will follow you "

Monday morning blog meme

Seems as though I can't resist them

(insert link is still not cooperating, so click here to play: http://www.blogthings.com/insidetheroomofyoursoulquiz/outcome.php)

What your soul really looks like:

 

 

Room

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Ha!

Camping - epilogue

The fishing/camping trip was great. We had a very nice group of people - 12 in all (including guides) who were all easy-going and fun to be around. I have found this to be critical for group travel. It doesn't matter for me how great the destination is, if you hate the people you're eating dinner with every day, it's a drag. This group was fun.

The weather was amazingly hot - so hot that even the fishing guides, who fish in Redding all summer long and are not impressed by such things, were jumping into the river fully clothed to cool off .  Yesterday it was 117 degrees.

Redding weather

The strange thing is that the water temperature is only about 49 degrees. The water is comprised of snow-melt and if you put your hands or feet in the water to cool off it can be pretty shocking.

As you might imagine, when it's 117 degrees everyone in town gets on a raft to drink beer and float down the river (sounds like fun, doesn't it?). And every year the sheriff, and kindly boaters and fisherman, pluck them out of the water before they drown. Drowning is deceptively easy on the Sacramento river. The current is extremely fast, and when combined with the cold water temperature (and heat, and beer) people tend to quickly exhaust themselves. Canoes seem to be the worst, for some reason people feel safer in them and are surprised when they tip over. They do of course, all the time, and in the cold fast current it is almost impossible to right them again. At least most of the rafts are rented which means the rafters are forced to wear life vests. I'll let Xavier tell you about the time he and his buddy had to drag a 250lb woman to shore (she was too heavy to bring into the boat).

I caught some really beautiful fish this trip - all of them rainbow trout - but didn't post more than one or two photos. I figure for this crowd, if you've seen one nice fish, you've seen them all and I didn't want to start a riot or bore you to tears. If I get a good photo of me with a fish from Xav's camera I'll post it later. I know you'll all be breathless with anticipation.

My fish FAQ:

Yes I threw them all back.

Yes, if for some reason this fish died before I could liberate it, I would have eaten it because trout are damn delicious.

No they don't feel pain. Ok, they might feel pain. The jury is still out on this one. If you are from PETA and you want to argue about fish pain with me, please stop reading this post and go find someone else to argue with. I'm not accepting debate topics this week. Better, yet, go have another surprise dinner with Beyonce.

Yes, they get pretty cranky when you catch them and they have excellent flight or fight instincts.

No, they can't bite you.

If something happens and you can't get the hook out, the fish exudes an acid that dissolves the hook over time. I think this is super cool.

The more gently you hold them, the more docile they become - like many other wild creatures.

No, I can't hold them gently enough because I'm too freaking excited that I caught a fish. Whenever I am holding one, someone has to hold a net under my hand just in case.

This means, no, I can't work without a net.

No, I can't really explain why I enjoy fishing. It started off as a nice thing to do with my husband and has become something else entirely. A combination of hide and seek, trick or treat, tag and marco polo - all on a boat on a beautiful river. As long as we are someplace pretty (and the weather is nice [1]), I love fly fishing.

We traveled by drift boat, which means no engines.

If I had a rocket launcher I would get rid of all speed boats and jet skis[2] [3]. Loud engines really have a way of destroying a nice river drift. First there is the noise - like a jet engine at close range, reverberating off the water. This is followed by a wake that, if you are not paying attention, will totally dump you off the boat and into the water (see problem above). And of course it scares the hell out of the fish.

I'll make you a deal: you guys can have the big lakes if I can have the rivers and ocean flats (which you are totally ruining, by the way).

[1] I don't fly fish in the driving rain or snow. I have fly fished in the snow, and I found that I didn't like chipping the ice off my guides. Oh, and I don't really like to rough it that much. Fly fishing in the Caribbean is especially nice.

[2] If you are my friend, or simply a nice person with a speed boat or jet ski, I'm sorry and I hope we can still be friends.

[3] If you are from the FBI, I'm just kidding. I can't even kill fish.

I had a whole bunch of links to put into this post, but the insert link thingie seems to be feeling under the weather this morning and I don't have time to wait around for it.

People say I look like...

Demi Moore. Just ask Barak. ;-)

 

Update: My Heritage totally disagrees. Instead it says that I look like a bunch of women who only go by first names.

 

Oh right, I look like them.

Not.

The end

The nest above the bridge belongs to an osprey and it is huge. You can't tell from this distance, but we're looking right up at his/her behind, hence the appropriateness of the post title "the end"

Hardy har har.

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Getting close to the end now

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Yikes!

That was close

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