I've never been a fan of new year's resolutions. So many promises focused on health - really weight - and after a month of vigorous participation, most of us slide into sporadic attendance to be followed quickly by the familiar pattern of wishful thinking and guilt.
For many years I didn't set any resolutions, I simply welcomed the new year and hoped for the best. The past few years have been on the tough side, and I've decided to break some of my established patterns in an effort to control my destiny - at least the things that I can. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when George decided to act oppositely of every natural impulse he had? And remember how that worked out so well (mostly)? Well, that's kind of where I'm at right now.
I'm in a rut. Working all the time, but not necessarily working as smart as I could. Also, I'm not writing anymore, and I'm not exploring music the way I want to.
Part of the reason why I set my life/career in this direction was so that I could do more of the things I love and spend more time with the people I love. And while life in small business can be a series of pop quizzes, I have to acknowledge my own role in the cycle. (see definition: insanity)
For 2015 I'm making a few changes:
1. I'm going to write every day. I may not post every day, but I made a pact with my girl that we would both write for 15 minutes a day - posting at least 3 times a week. (Time: 6:51) She wants to be a journalist and I think she will benefit from more practice writing under pressure. I will benefit from getting back on the proverbial horse and trying to write a post that consists of less than 1000 words (word count: 286).
2. I going to do a better job of managing my job priorities and stop characterizing them in my head as "juggling. " I have a tendancy to focus on the fire burning closest to my body, which is not always, all urgent imagery aside, the most important thing. Related: I will stop setting fires.
3. I will be kinder to myself and to those around me by picking my words more carefully. I have been blessed with a large vocabulary, and sometimes I allow it to veer into the dramatic and/or negative. Not totally sure why that is (hmmm, could that be resolution #4?) but as I said above, I'm going to actively change "juggling" to "managing," "crazy busy" to "getting things done" etc. Words matter, as does positivity. I will also stop picking apart my writing, which has, over time, become a genuine obstacle to writing.
4. Positivity. In all things. As much as I can muster without feeling insincere nor putting on rose-colored glasses nor losing sight of what's important. I tell my youngest that happiness is a choice, that the glass is half-full. Now I'm looking in the mirror when I say that.
5. Health. I know, I know, it sounds like such a crock of shit to even put it on the list, and yet. My goal is not to get down to 140lbs, although that would be sweet. My goal is not to look good in a bathing suit or to wear tight-fitting clothes. My goal is to get outside, do a little cardio, breathe some fresh air, adjust my perspective, look for wildlife and maybe get a little fitter in the process. The Mister and I get along much better when we take a morning walk, talk about our kids, think about the day to come and strategize in general. It's good for him, it's good for me and it's on the list.
Time: 15:59 - 538 words (edited to 620 - totally the wrong direction).